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Monday, May 25, 2015

Silent night & few years back...

Few days ago i went out with one of my bestfriend..ok, i dont have many friends like others so i assume he is one of my bestfriend..as we walked and sighseeing he asked me whether i was interested in writing my own story. I replied that i already do by having my blog..Then he asked if thats counted as one..i said yes confidently..it s just the matter of how many entries i already have since i started.

Then i check my blog and found out that i shouldve write & post more entries to make it as a book of my life..worked for a duty officer in this Ops Duty Room with less work to do like previously is really an opportunity for me to review back all my entries..i was waiting for my dinner (the driver helped to buy it for me) when i went outside & realize how silent is the night.. then emails came in to my mailbox. One simple email has really gotten me into an emotionally feeling.

How easy it is for someone to tell us to be strong but how meaningful it is for someone like me.. then i realize that i always tell the same to others..surprisingly they come to me & ask for my motivational words or even a suggestion on how to move on..

i can feel them at most of the time.. with empathy i tell them to move on..be kind & believe that everything is going to be fine..we are all will be happy..until tonight that i checked my Insta, FB & Blog.. 

I realize...how i actually inspired others but in the same time i suffered from the truth that i have been hiding..just because i want others to be strong when they see me strong ....

how i wish...

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

i miss everything...

it has been a year since my last entry in my blog...


Everything is new now..i even transfer to the new place of working, new scope and new colleagues and friends.. what happen to the last one that i have before? they are still my favorite and forever be my among the best person i have ever met..& the best lesson that i have ever gained...

I miss everything....
i miss every little thing that always be my motivation to keep moving on...it's just i dont wanna say them out loud...yeah as usual i keep think secretly for my own..i cant deny that i feel the suffer of doing it..but what can i do more about it..

what i have planned didnt go like what i wanted it to be...
i have tried my very best to make everything happens as its best.. but my flaws caused everything failed..

i miss everyone...
no matter how my mouth say that i hate them but honestly i miss & love them so much..
it s just i dont show it... because when i do things would go wrongly & people will go and leave miserably...

i miss you.....till we meet again....