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Sunday, October 21, 2012

..my heart, your heart and everyone's heart!

...this is so complicated......when you talk about this topic..the heart itself its a complex creation of God Almighty!  it's among the smallest organ in our body but still for me it runs the most important job of all!  i would always stand with my opinion about heart which i think it is the most delicate organ yet the strongest part that moves us!

The Climb

..i was so depressed and frustration because of a few things last Saturday. i know its not anyone's fault n i do realize its all because of me myself..i tried to be nice to people around me..treated them like a king & queen and even give them anything & everything that i could give..but as always ill be the one who suffers for hoped something they could give in return..i dont ask much ....just make me happy, understand me and walk with me in this struggling life where i always feel like stranger...it has been 6 months but still i cannot suit myself with my surrounding..i thought with someone closer who knows this place very well everything will be easier..yes indeed it is making my life a little easier to go through all these..

i wish i would stop running away, vanishing and appearing anywhere & anytime like i always do..but doing that make me release my tension..i just like to be alone ..finding myself but when im done with that and facing back to people it affects me like i was the one who do all the mistakes...it caused me think of i was the main reason for all the problems when they were the one who didnt talk to me..always trying to search my flaw & even blaming me for everything that went wrong....its not easy to be me...

..yesterday's morning without taking too much time and i didnt even think twice, i woke up earlier and joined my old friend to for a hiking. the place is quite far from this chaotic city which where im leaving in.  there was like a miracle force that made me brave to join this hiking group..we just being introduced to each other on that day when we met at a restaurant.. surprisingly it was my first time  been at that small town..i met people who are difference in their background and career..but every stories and experiences that they shared with me along our way up to the mountain has thought me many precious things...it was like an eye opener for me..i needed to see real people with real stories..and there was i meeting them and sharing our stories..

..there was one person whom i met where we 've grown up in the same era of 90s..so what did i expect? of course we have much more similar interest and stories to share..and i noticed that these children of 90s are mostly special....we grew up in chaos and our saga is epic! seriously...the shockingly facts that ive found was we were all trying to find ourself!

..without being judgemental on their appeal and life's experiences i realized that someones smarter had given me and advice in friendship or relationship....
it goes like; ' if you really care and love your friends or someone you wouldn't care if you have to hurt him/her by preventing them to not do something stupid that would ruin their future..it might hurt you at the beginning and he/she might even running away from you or even hurt you but we know our action is saving their future..to see them to be someone better of even the best....' i dont know if it's too late for me to do that..ive losing many bestfriends along this journey which i call the climb~

P/S: why do i always realize it after i have already lost it!