...errrr..how long since i don't write anything on my blog? well, i don't count actually...really hate counting haha..
i was laying on the mattress counting the sheep to sleep but all the posts that i read just before i go to bed made me thinking deeply and honestly it hurts me a little..i know many will say why so serious or sensitive..those posts are definitely not for me..but what they posted don't take any matter of sensitivity of touching others personal in many aspects especially when it comes to the religious matter!
..and as for me looking back on friend's pages is like going down on my past and what will i be..i don't know but it always feels like going along the fierce stream with many sharp and hard stone with the uncontrollable current..which the only option is for you just to follow the flow..that's how i feel every time i look through the pages!
i thought why cant i be just like them?..these people who mostly i know kinda having a perfect life, getting better each time and the worse is they are having my dream..huhuuh...i may be like an idiot but at least i say it clearly and revealing on what i felt ...this is the true emotion and i don't feel shame or afraid to say it out loud...errr at least in this blog..hey these are counted anyway haha...
but then again, i need to think like matured and someone who is holding the faith to my creator...yeah HE knows what im going through , HE plans this wisely and HE determines what am i going to be...i feel guilty on my thought before and start looking at the bright side of every occurrences through out of my life...
so i smile say a prayer and try to be more positive and optimist, and im very sure that one day i will look back on these days with smile on my face, so doesn't matter
with all these tears today because they gonna pay for all those awaiting smile of one fine day~InsyaAllah.