..notes from Kuching ~

A few days ago i was checking on my Sony memory stick as i needed to find the old pictures remain in it when I've found an old notes which i wrote when i was in Kuching for the first time...i ought to transfer it to the blog but that time i didn't have one..and as I like to write out my feeling so i wrote it and save it in my memory stick...i think now is the perfect time for me to preserve the notes by keeping it in this blog as i already have one...enjoy reading it~;

I’m the type who is reluctant to have relationship unless with my family. I always try to hide my past and weakness since I don’t know how to be proud of myself. However being in Kuching for almost 4 months with no relative made me realize that friendship is a miracle. Ever since I was a kid my family noticed that I don’t have any close friends, my dad been transferred a lot..from one place to another,his job mad him to do so, so the chances for me to have a very close friend was very less, i mean a real close friend who grew up with you and shared a childhood with you, so every time we've arrived at one place and settled things up there, i would just stick with family, stayed home..especially stayed with my late grandmother whom i guess was my friend that time hahah.. because i belief that we were always a stranger and realized we wouldn't stay long at certain place..so i thought what was the use in having a friend if at last i would certainly said goodbye and lost contact with them ( errrr..in my time mobile phone, SMS, Internet , facebook ,twitter & etc were still an Alien...so to keep in touch was impossible, mail by post was the only way hahha...) ...so I didn’t go out and played like normal kids did...I'd rather stayed home and did my own and most favorite thing...reading!!! I created my own world through these kind of books, especially those by Enid Blyton, Sherlock Holmes and Stephen Kings. My problem kept continuing till I decided to change by went for a school that has a hostel. Of course it was far from my home and i thought that I could survive... However things didn’t come out as planned... I ruined everything and almost disappear from life. it was a very tragic experiences. As I grew up I learned many things, I studied to the higher level of achievement and tried to get my carrier expanded. And know I’m away from my comfort zone and tried to survive. It’s hard day by day facing new challenges but friends made my life easier...I do feel like stranger in Kuching but I avoid being one by acting like I’m the easy type to get along with...I did it, I didn’t judge them by the looks or any other external factors, and had to be brave to approach them even if sometimes it embarrassed me..It was hard at first and there were times when i really sick of played 'Mr. friendly'...But now things are different...As the clock tickling of counting time to go home it is now changing of how I wish I could stop it and extend the time here…I realize that it’s now hard to say goodbye to them... to be honest I fall in love with Kuching...How the miracle of friendship unites the differences in ethnic, religion, races, language, ages, title, job and everything..I feel like i was at home whenever i was with them...When I miss my family I just set up my mind that they are also could be my family... and they really treated me like one...for my transportation, my security, my comfortability, hospitality, my meal and most important my 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' when I needed one!!! Funny when they spoke in their language and I tried hard to understand and even answered in that language...haha...When they laughed at me they were actually cheered me up...But, the closer I get the harder I would say goodbye...because I know the fact that all the moments won’t happen again...I hope I’ll be in their memory forever like I do keep them in mine…to the staff of the hotel that so called my home, thanks and sorry for everything... without realizing it you guys were my strengths in some other way..Not to worry that I know the fact that I have my bloodline here as I am half Ibanese...so who knows if there's a big possibility that I might come back to Kuching…!!! ‘Agi idup agi ngelaban”

P/s: this notes was created almost 2 years ago, some of my friends in this story were already gone to be with the Mighty Creator, some were already married to each other (this is funny facts~haha @_~) and build a happy family and some still at the hotel where i have stayed before...this really taught me that life keep changing...it's normal when it's not static, and its abnormal if you keep thinking of staying the same..one day you are here, next you are gone..today you might be alone but tomorrow who knows you could have someone closer to fill that loneliness...& no matter what we must go on..


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