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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

As life goes on...i move on...


Assalammualaikum...
its been a while that i have not writing in this blog...& i never expect that certain people would have interest to read my blog..hehe its such an honor for me..a million thanks...
well, after ignoring the blog for such long time,(it has been 2 months over ...) my life AGAIN is changing and im now trying hard to welcome the new things in this next phase of my life...it's actually not another phase but more to the new same experiences...yeahhh...im now working with another company and another position..well,who did expect right? in fact im blogging from workplace....hahah(of course the boss is OUT!!!)..
a million feelings plus expectations with many doubts are lingering in my mind since the first day Ive started this job...believe it or not i was almost quitting the job when i know the job specification ...somehow i told myself to give a try...furthermore there's no harm in trying aaittt!..
I think it's mostly true on what people always say that you can never avoid the kind of people whom i always call 'pain in the ass' (ooopsiiii sorry~)... Ive experienced this in the first month when i started...well i wont let these people bordering me as they have nothing to do with my life...& i'll make sure that they wont even crossing the unseen line of respecting me...they got to know their limitation though...because if they don't they'll have to accept the consequences..(believe me you don't want to know that!!!)
i keep telling myself everything will be fine..( huhuhuh i do believe this..) it's the pay that made me stay..that what was i thought at first..i know it sounds so materialistic and so selfish but hey! wake up people we are living in capitalism dictation nation!!! MONEY IS EVERYTHING~ & the fact that life's a rat race made me even wanted (more to needed...) to stay longer...got to be honest, actually i am now waiting for the best opportunity of my career development...I've already being accepted for the test in PTD ( i've mentioned about this in previous post..check it out!)..unfortunately even though i didn't fail it like the rest of us but im still stuck in the middle ...they give me a year of waiting and if only im lucky enough then i will get my chance within a year..hopefully it will happen...huhuhu...
i was almost break down too hard when i found out the result of the PTD interview...somehow i tried to control my emotion (yeah rite, as if i didn't go to toilet & almost dropped my tears....) a miracle happened as Allah sent His miracles not long after i felt despair..a best friend of mine called & asked me out...we had not seeing each other for quite long as he's living far from the city...he came at the right moments for a consultation for i needed that..thanks to Allah at least i had someone to talk and express my sadness BUT i just couldn't do that!!!!! all i wanted is everyone to feel happy ..my friend came from far to see me as he knows i am the fun type among his friends..so i made myself happy for the reason of making him happy as well!..but i wasn't so sure whether it worked as i noticed a lot of changes on us especially him i guess...huhu so it might be true somehow on what I've always hear that time & distance really could change the way people are huh? i know something wrong is going on with him in certain things but i dare not to ask because i wanted the outing to be happy...and i appreciate him as he's the kind of understand me more than others..its just that he's not that type of talking too much like i am..really pray that Allah blesses him..with a little experiences, advices and jokes sharing, they made the night grew shorter ....how i wish we could stay longer like we used to do...we had many funny memorable stuff together haha...as i sent him back to his home the thought came across my mind that I've learned that despite the distance between us, a real friendship grows across the miles and also that we should be open to a friend’s view as two people can look at the same thing and see something different....hopefully these thought & feeling are honestly true...but still the question arise in my mind if it's only me alone who think of all these?? urgghhh really hate those who force and fake their friendship...but i have a confident on this one... :')
Another week with the new life, i guess im growing smarter and stronger..try to chase away the bad feeling and making new friendships with more colleagues ....it works so far...huhhhhh...sometimes i feel so tired with this life of mine...what can i do is TO KEEP SURVIVE!!! and if the condition makes me struggle and rebel than i will fight~
The facts of this salvage life makes me keeps searching for more  REAL STRENGHT~ and i keep thinking that treating people around me is like "doing a campaign of saving the shark from the extinction!"..everyone knows that shark could kill & danger but their extinction will cause inequilibrium to the eco-system...same goes to these people...they are somehow could be mean and cruel but for the sake of the company they must be in the system & play that role!